Nothing is taken for granted regards with relationships. Even in the healthiest. In order to continue, there is a need for a continuous and two-way effort. Although it is statistically proven that most relationships, sooner or later, become memories for the people who lived them, there is an element that leads, even faster, to a relationship in separation. Fortunately, if you find it in yours, you can correct it.
Dr. Darcy Sterling, a relationship consultant in New York, explains that even before a couple starts to fight on issues of trust, communication, morality, and so on, there is a pointer that says – it can predict, with accuracy, the end of your relationship. What is this?
The way you manage a conflict or in other words how you fight with your partner. In any case, a healthy relationship is not one in which there are no quarrels (that is impossible in nature), but a relationship whose members are conscious of managing them.
If, for example, each time you fight, you or your partner behave contemptuously and disparagingly towards each other, the separation will come soon. Dr. Sterling goes on to say that contempt can be manifested in a number of ways: From hysterical, melodramatic voices that contain obscene markings to a simple look that indicates your unwillingness to understand and validate your partner’s feelings.
Of course, we are not robots. All of us, at some point, will be overwhelmed with nerves and anger, we will all react absurdly and we will all feel the need to behave with rude to the other. The difference is whether we will eventually break out, externalizing all this negativity to the other. Indeed, as Dr. Sterling, being able to crash without losing control and without channeling your most toxic feelings to your partner, is perhaps the most important skill you will ever gain in terms of relationships.