I always need a true partner in crime of real love. However, for two years I haven’t dated with anyone, purposely.
After a disastrous relationship I decided that it’s time to take care of myself. I knew the mistakes I made in this relationship and knowing these mistakes I don’t like to be myself. For six months I didn’t like the way I lived. Thus react in any way. I drank every night; I didn’t go to my house and dance at clubs every night. But it was for me an approach to freedom. When I realized that this was wrong, I promised myself that to recover from all this I should stop dating for some time and this was what I did!
Certainly my romantic purity reached two years instead of one as I figured. Believe me it was a desperate situation sometimes several rages but for two years I gave battle with myself and it certainly was not romantic. I do not write to describe that all of this was beautiful. Clearly I cried and hurt. But it helped me very much to understand what I really want from my life and finally find it.
I admitted things I wanted to do and what I did not like, what scared me and what was wrong. I realized that I could not change for anyone and someone should respect me for who I am. How could I have to respect someone when I’m not completely honest with myself and my desires?
So I spent several evenings lap with movies and books looking through there in perfect love. Mild enough wine and laughed with my friends, I really enjoyed it. I was walking and saw the value of life in small things. Slowly I achieved what I wanted to know myself better. It is difficult to exactly describe these two years of complete physical and emotional abstinence.
And finally when two years passed I got into the game of relationships again, more confident. Knowing what is really what I want and how to get it, and I did it! So simple! But I had to be hard on myself, on purpose, so as to know myself better. Perhaps you should be doing for yourself. Take as much time as you need enough actually to find out what you really want.
Tags: divorce, relationship, love, woman, real stories, emotional stories, life stories, lifestyle, secret, magazine publishing
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